Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane made this hilariously anti-Semitic "for your consideration" ad to appeal (or something) to Emmy voters, but it was unsurprisingly rejected by every major Hollywood trade publication. You should have seen this coming, Seth. They control the media, too.

Something tells us this headline won't be converting any Fox News fans into NPR listeners — which, ironically, proves the study's point. Though, in the interest of being fair and balanced, we'll also point out that MSNBC's left-leaning audience did almost as poorly as Fox's. Turns out NPR listeners are the only ones among us who really know what's going on. Too bad we'll never get over our seething hatred of obnoxious, cardigan-wearing hipster know-it-alls long enough to listen to a word they say.

Just a photo of a man in a hot dog costume inviting motorists to an anti-gay car wash at which they can sign a petition to fight the legalization of gay marriage.

Hard to say where this event in Kennewick, Wash. took a wrong turn, but we're betting it started when the dude in the hot dog costume insisted on wearing the hot dog costume. Since the hot dog has no relevance whatsoever to the matter at hand, he clearly must be into dressing like hot dogs in a filthy sex way. What's going to happen when he meets and falls in love with an attractive person in a mustard costume, or maybe even a particularly smokin' jar of relish? They'll show up at City Hall and find out that because his Barbecue Foods Against Gay Marriage Car Wash went so well, marriage is only between a man and a woman and therefore hot dogs aren't allowed to marry condiments. We reap what we sow, sexually bewildered hot dog man. We reap what we sow.

Ever wonder how much you're being paid to perch atop your porcelain throne with a USA Today and zero desire to get back to your desk? With Poop Salary for Android and iPhone, you can see how much company money you're wasting to the cent. We're just suprised anyone's bold enough to advertise on this app. We had no idea there was so much crossover appeal between Scion drivers and people who like to blow off work with a long, comfortable dump.

One Redditor's teacher appears to be grading his students in such a way as to ready them to camp out with the Occupy movement. We wish we had this teacher when we were in school, though considering the recent effort to demonize teachers and divest them of organizing power so they can work for low pay without tenure, maybe a schoolteacher shouldn't be so quick to refer to himself as "the man." Perhaps "Always question the underpaid scapegoat of conservative interests" would be more apt.

Are you worried that your wedding isn't obnoxious enough? Concerned that carrying a silver parasol and riding down the aisle atop a bedazzled pony won't make everyone attending your ceremony furious that someone fell in love with you? Well now you can wear a pair of Ugg boots on your wedding day! Seriously, it's a thing you can do. There's no law against it at the moment, and you can even buy "Wedding Uggs" right out in the open and no authorities will try and stop you from doing it. Ugg Wedding, for when your wedding day doesn't adequately communicate that you're are an unapologetically horrible person.

In the middle of talking to "Human Garbage Barbie" Sarah Burge, a wretched cylon and mom who not only presented her seven-year-old daughter with a birthday voucher for a boob job, but also encourages the child to get botox and liposuction, Anderson Cooper remembered that despite his hosting a daytime talk show, he still has some self-respect. So he turned on a little of the old "yelling at Congress members on CNN about Katrina" A-Coop and told Burge to please leave the stage because ew. Cooper later said he got the sense that she wasn't speaking honestly and was only seeking publicity, but we don't care about his reasoning. We just enjoy it when Anderson is mean to terrible people for us, almost as much as we enjoy when he gets the giggles. He offers further explanation for the on-air booting of Burge in the clip below:

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If you don't measure up to society's standards of beauty and can tolerate the company of a shallow jackass for three months in exchange for some inexpensive beachside accomodations, this seems like a pretty great offer. Plus, if you still manage to hook up with someone before this guy, there's the added benefit of watching him spiral into a deep abyss of impenetrable depression. Sounds like a win-win to us.