Hairline? Hat rack? Heartburn starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep? Ham lice? There are people who can't believe their ears, and then there's this kid, who wants to waterboard his ears until he can be absolutely sure of what they're saying to him. Unless he's just trolling the spelling bee administrator in a really convincing manner, in which case he needs to quit it with the spelling and enroll in drama school immediately.