Now that every ethnicity, religion, occupation, and sexual orientation has been cataloged by the national "Shit Carbon-Based Life Forms Say" Dialiectic Documentation Project, it's time to narrow the focus to specific human beings. It's only natural that we begin with the man who can say anything and make it sound awesome. The project has its own criteria for selecting individual subjects so we're not sure who's next, but we're really hoping it's Crispin Glover.