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MONDAYS
05/07/2012
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
5. Oprah - The cracks in Winfrey's formerly flawless TV empire are starting to leak major money, proving that her legions of once-loyal fans are less likely to tune in when they're not being...
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4/20
04/20/2012
The 8 most ridiculous crimes ever committed by people on drugs.
We'd take this any day over the way our creepy uncle gets high and "spreads the Christmas spirit."In honor of this completely arbitrary 24-hour celebration of a substance that is...
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HEADLINES
12/14/2011
The most horribly awkward live TV news moments of the year.
1. Mammary AppraisalLots of people say they get their news from late night talk shows. But even that's too much of a commitment for us to take on. We limit our news gathering to live news...
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NEWS
12/28/2011
25 people who had a worse 2011 than you.
25. Prosecutors of semi-attractive murderers: As if bars needed more 6’s hanging around desperately at closing time, this year prosecutors in the Casey Anthony and Amanda Knox trials failed to...
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HEADLINES
05/11/2012
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
The "Dicks," in this Seattle Times headline refers to Rep. Norman Dicks, who had previously voted in favor of the Defense of Marriage Act. "In" implies that there is a non-specifc...
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HEADLINES
04/17/2012
The worst-case scenario of watching porn online for the first time.
He clearly loved her. If he found his wife on his very first time searching porn "out of curiosity," he must have entered search terms that described his wife perfectly because that's...
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CRIME
04/12/2012
Coed demonstrates how not to conduct a transaction with a gross perv in a parking lot.
Oldest trick in the pervy fungal fetishist's book. Didn't this girl go to her school's orientation? First thing we were told when we went to college, if someone offers you cash for your...
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NEWS
03/20/2012
The most unintentionally inappropriate campaign bus of this election season.
Alberta political leader Danielle Smith inadvertently put the "Wild" in "Wildrose Party" with this campaign bus design, thanks to some very unfortunate tire placement. Maybe her...
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NEWS
03/01/2012
The most mind-blowingly absurd headline we've seen all week.
Reached for comment, the man's friends said, "We always knew Gary's love of drinking salsa, and our love of storing gasoline in salsa jars, would eventually be his undoing. We just hate...
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HEADLINES
11/03/2011
Perhaps the weirdest opening sentence in a NY Times article ever.
It's like Cocoon meets Arlington Road. It seems that four men from Georgia, with ages ranging from 65 to 73, were planning to liven up their golden years with a little domestic terrorism. In...
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Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Facebook
9 new contenders for the most outstanding comment ever left on a Facebook photo.
Facebook
The 50 least valuable things ever posted on Facebook.
Housewares
An absolutely essential security device for anyone living with roommates.
Lists
More yearbook quotes and photos that don't bode well for our future.
Signs
Restaurant delivers best possible response to bad internet review.
Lists
The most hilariously effective signs supporting gay marriage.
Facebook
More of the most creatively designed Facebook Timeline profiles.
Happy Place Original
10 terrifying changes that are bound to happen once Facebook goes public.
Pets
An adorably creative way to make your dog completely miserable.
MORE POSTS »
TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
The Gays
The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
Food
Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
Videos
Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
Videos
Kids reenact Sabotage video in honor of MCA.
Videos
If Taxi Driver had been a Disney movie.
Mother's Day
How to compensate your mom for the grossest thing she ever did for you.
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Julian McCullough
Celebrity deaths are the "beach ball at a concert" of twitter.
Scott Gilmore
Let me repeat that. Bono made 1.5 billion dollars this morning. Then gave a speech at the G8 summit calling for more aid to Africa.
Josh Hara
Let's just say if I found out the Dalai Lama strangled a few squirrels to death I wouldn't be surprised.
Wickedwordslinger
The way things are going my best retirement plan is going to be death.
Rex Huppke
Torn between buying one-fifth of a share of Facebook stock, a gallon of gas or a Venti soy latte.
Jenny Johnson
I think it's super cute of Kim Kardashian to remind us why she's famous. http://t.co/RLgkCGQx
rob delaney
One that made a lot of money. RT @mashable: If you had a time machine, which company would you go back & invest in?
Matt Goldich
Tomorrow's trending topics: "MySpace", "Friendster", "You Know What's Cool?" and "A Billion Dollars".
Clarke Kant
My obituary will read: He's now dead on the outside too.
Michael Caine
Just read another story about me being locked in attick, completely false.
will weldon
"I guess you're right." - No one on the internet
Megan Amram
Paper was just invented by Hallmark to sell more greeting cards
Matt Koff
If you think childbirth is difficult, try seamlessly ending an IM conversation!
Eli Braden
What's your favorite Toto song about a continent? Mine's probably 'Africa'.
Alex Baze
Everybody wonders if they're fat and nobody wonders if they're boring.
Nick Nolte's Mugshot
Dizzy this morning. Woke up inside a cement mixer again.
Chase Mitchell
Can't wait to talk to my therapist about the psychological damage caused by her waiting room not having Wi-Fi.
Rob Kutner
Yo Yo Ma is the most talented cellist who also sounds like a Long Island Kid's last cries while drowning.
Damien Fahey
When someone tells me about a book they've read, I pretentiously say, "Oh, I don't even own a book."
Andrés du Bouchet
Has you noticed the many difference between how white guys dance and New York City? (post brain trauma standup)
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Advice
Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
Weddings
10 hilariously disastrous weddings we wish we'd been invited to.
News
How every man wants to die.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Headlines
How an attempt at the perfect prom photo can go horribly wrong.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.
I hope a 28-year-old billionaire becoming even richer this week doesn't spoil your birthday.
I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in a dysfunctional relationship with.
From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.
However old you are is the new 30.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I just want you to know that Amish you.
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