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HEADLINES
05/01/2012
The least effective sexual deviant ever.
If a tree gets naked in the forest and there's no one around to be grossed out by it, is the tree terrible at being a perv? According to the 1984 film classic Revenge Of The Nerds, this act is...
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NEWS
04/30/2012
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
5. Everyone who works at the Today Show - ABC's Good Morning America has trounced its competition for the second week in a row. Maybe Today should let all of its anchors be more like Kathie Lee...
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HEADLINES
04/26/2012
Meal ruined by penis.
This photo perfectly captures the quintessential facial expression of any woman who has ever been disappointed by a penis. Take away the burger and this could be one of our honeymoon photos. Except...
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HEADLINES
04/26/2012
Why you should never mix firearms with irony.
So they failed? Before an ambulance was even called, while the blood was still spurting out of Michael and Michelle Deel's wounds, someone had better have marched up to that instructor's desk...
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HEADLINES
04/24/2012
One of the better opening quotes in newspaper history.
As recently as 20 years ago our nation's ninjas were being pushed into retirement as early as 55. Now with the economy in the shape it's in and people living longer and longer, ninjas are...
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4/20
04/20/2012
The 8 most ridiculous crimes ever committed by people on drugs.
We'd take this any day over the way our creepy uncle gets high and "spreads the Christmas spirit."In honor of this completely arbitrary 24-hour celebration of a substance that is...
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HEADLINES
04/19/2012
Quite possibly the stupidest man on Facebook.
Exhibit AMeet Michael Baker, a 20-year-old man from Kentucky who is terrible at crimes. Faced with rising gas prices, Michael (his friends affectionately call him "Pig") did what anyone...
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HEADLINES
04/18/2012
Town named after the greatest word in the English language.
We've already booked our plane ticket. We want to meet the Mayor of Fucking. We're going to eat at some Fucking restaurants, meet some Fucking people, go to the Museum of Fucking History,...
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HEADLINES
04/18/2012
The last possible image the TSA wants to see.
Some guy got naked at the Oregon airport, and yes, that's frowned upon even in Oregon. 50-year-old John E. Brennan was apparently feeling harrassed by TSA screeners, so he decided to strike back...
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HEADLINES
04/17/2012
The worst-case scenario of watching porn online for the first time.
He clearly loved her. If he found his wife on his very first time searching porn "out of curiosity," he must have entered search terms that described his wife perfectly because that's...
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My obituary will read: He's now dead on the outside too.
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"I guess you're right." - No one on the internet
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Yo Yo Ma is the most talented cellist who also sounds like a Long Island Kid's last cries while drowning.
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