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2012
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ELECTION 2012
02/28/2012
The least fair and balanced pop-up survey on the internet.
We're missing a lot by angrily clicking the close button on these things. We guess this is a typo on the part of the designer. They probably meant the choices to be "Worse" and...
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ELECTION 2012
01/10/2012
If election signs told the truth about today's primary.
The New Hampshire primary is in full swing, and the big worry is whether enough voters will bother to show up to give Romney a super-huge victory, or just the sweet and tender victory he got in Iowa....
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ELECTION 2012
01/06/2012
Watch John McCain accidentally endorse Obama for 2012.
No hard feelings then? Or does he just want to pick a winner for once? Or, more likely, he has no idea where he is or what he's saying at any given moment. We wish the video didn't cut off...
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NEWS
01/03/2012
5 people already having a worse 2012 than you.
5. Starbucks Customers - The coffee giant is raising its already steep prices in certain regions. On the bright side, customers will have an easier time spending the approximately $375 in Starbucks...
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NEW YEAR'S
12/29/2011
What a painfully honest New Year's party invite would look like.
It's like an ad for a horror movie. Suggested tagline: On New Year's, no one can hear you scream "I just want to go home and watch a Honeymooners marathon!"
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MUSIC
12/07/2011
The 6 most plausible reactions from Fat Axl Rose to news of his Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction.
Big News for people who were in high school when the first Bush was president. Guns N' Roses have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame, alongside the Red Hot Chili Peppers and...
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ELECTION 2012
10/17/2011
Video proves Mitt Romney is way more interesting when saying nothing but gibberish.
We dig this guy! We know what it means to have our happiness robbed from us when someone's sister throws a seafish at our TV, and we'll only vote for a candidate who understands our pain....
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TWEET
Alex Baze
08/19/2011
Rick Perry enters the 2012 presidential race and somewhere, two ancient Mayans quietly high-five.
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Michelle Wolf
if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
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I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
Ari Scott
I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
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I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
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How did we ever cross busy intersections before texting and walking?
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Oh yeah? Well I can lose weight, but you'll always be a dressing room mirror.
Clarke Kant
It's amazing to see the differences between twins. For example, my precious daughter has so much more self-confidence than my fat idiot son.
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Deleting a substandard tweet is my version of a courtesy flush.
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Sure glad we can't smell things on the inside of our body.
Amber Eeeeeee
it's methamphetaMINE not methamphetaYOURS
Julian McCullough
Celebrity deaths are the "beach ball at a concert" of twitter.
Scott Gilmore
Let me repeat that. Bono made 1.5 billion dollars this morning. Then gave a speech at the G8 summit calling for more aid to Africa.
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Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
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I just want you to know that Amish you.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
However old you are is the new 30.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
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