Advice
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  • ADVICE
    05/16/2012

    Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.

    Running off so soon, NavyBoy? Couldn't you wait until there's a big family event so you can impregnate any remaining women in their immediate or extended bloodline before you go (cousins,...
  • KIDS
    04/09/2012

    Toy store inadvertently offers excellent family planning advice.

    We're pretty sure this little nugget of wisdom from Toys "R" Us was as much of an accident as our last child, considering it essentially holds the key to never having to shop at a Toys...
  • NATURAL DISASTERS
    03/05/2012

    College newspaper offers extremely unconventional tornado preparation advice.

    Under no circumstances should you get between a momma tornado and her baby tornado. If you find youself face-to-face with a tornado, try to make yourself look really big to scare the tornado away. If...
  • NEWSPAPERS
    11/02/2011

    Headline demonstrates that teachers are even more immature than bullies.

    Hold on, London Evening Standard — are you sure these were actual teachers you talked to, and not just bullies wearing stolen cardigans and reading glasses? Because that sounds a lot like the...
  • TV
    09/24/2011

    Steve Martin's letter offering advice about the Oscars more entertaining than the Oscars.

    Here's an open letter from comedy legend and overly insistent banjo player Steve Martin to fellow comedy legend and occasional cartoon donkey Eddie Murphy, offering some helpful tips for hosting...
  • ADVICE
    07/25/2011

    Advice column demonstrates why men shouldn't write advice columns.

    We'd like to start off by verbally giving the finger to anyone who points out that this gem is a few years old. We'd never seen it, probably because we've been having non-stop illicit sex...
  • TWEET
    Your Life Coaches
    07/25/2011

    Get busy living or get busy eating store-brand cheese puffs and watching CSI reruns.
  • SIGNS
    06/27/2011

    Billboard offers insanely obvious anti-drowning advice.

    Finally, someone found a way to spread the message that sinking motionless to the bottom of a body of water is a poor survival strategy. Unfortunately, anyone young or dumb enough to actually need...
  • GET WELL
    01/27/2011

    Great medical advice on not dying alone in an alley.

  • FLIRTING
    12/29/2010

    Man who can't possibly have ever been laid offers advice on women.

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