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SIGNS
04/09/2012
A brutally honest bar sign that will really make you feel like drinking.
Some bars use limited-time cocktails or other gimmicky discounts to get you tossing back cold ones, but this place just breaks your spirit with raw, unflinching truthfulness. There's no phony,...
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MAPS
01/13/2012
Plan your weekend with this map of the drunkest states in the U.S.
Based on a new report from the CDC, this map ranks each state based on its percentage of "binge drinkers," which those lab-coat wearing weenies define as "five or more drinks in a...
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FACEBOOK
01/13/2012
Comic strip announces fun new alternative to Facebook.
People have gotten so used to Facebook that it's easy to forget a time-honored alternative: lots and lots of alcohol. Still, there are a few important differences to keep in mind, like that...
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ALCOHOL
01/03/2012
How to stage an extremely entertaining alcoholism intervention using PowerPoint slides.
Alcohol interventions get a bad rap. Traditionally they've been about sitting in a circle listening to loved ones sob out complaints like "you used to be able to keep jobs" and...
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HOLIDAY SEASON
12/26/2011
Sign offers important reminder to get you through the tail-end of the holidays.
And for their efforts, they deserve a Nobel Peace Prize.
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GIFT IDEAS
12/16/2011
A Christmas gift even Christopher Hitchens would have celebrated.
If you've ever looked at a fat kid walking around with two Super Big Gulps full of Dr. Pepper and thought, "I wish I could do that but with my Cutty Sark," now you can! Behold, the 128...
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HALLOWEEN
10/31/2011
Booze mask.
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HPNOTIQ HARMONIE
09/07/2011
BFFs until marriage.
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HPNOTIQ HARMONIE
08/31/2011
Conditional best friends.
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HPNOTIQ HARMONIE
08/23/2011
Friendly sabotage.
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Notes
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Notes
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The most romantic way to protest in support of gay marriage in North Carolina.
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if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
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Megan Amram
I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
Ari Scott
I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
Leah Beckmann
I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
Molly McNearney
How did we ever cross busy intersections before texting and walking?
Shari Vanderwerf
Oh yeah? Well I can lose weight, but you'll always be a dressing room mirror.
Clarke Kant
It's amazing to see the differences between twins. For example, my precious daughter has so much more self-confidence than my fat idiot son.
Wickedwordslinger
Deleting a substandard tweet is my version of a courtesy flush.
Will Phillips
Sure glad we can't smell things on the inside of our body.
Amber Eeeeeee
it's methamphetaMINE not methamphetaYOURS
Julian McCullough
Celebrity deaths are the "beach ball at a concert" of twitter.
Scott Gilmore
Let me repeat that. Bono made 1.5 billion dollars this morning. Then gave a speech at the G8 summit calling for more aid to Africa.
Josh Hara
Let's just say if I found out the Dalai Lama strangled a few squirrels to death I wouldn't be surprised.
Wickedwordslinger
The way things are going my best retirement plan is going to be death.
Rex Huppke
Torn between buying one-fifth of a share of Facebook stock, a gallon of gas or a Venti soy latte.
Jenny Johnson
I think it's super cute of Kim Kardashian to remind us why she's famous. http://t.co/RLgkCGQx
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Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
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I just want you to know that Amish you.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
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