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MOTHER'S DAY
05/10/2012
Perhaps the least-necessary Mother's Day card you could buy.
Hopefully they also have a section called, "Ex-Son-In-Law Who Has Trouble Letting Go." Mother's Day is about obligatory gestures. Once you've spent a year signing notarized...
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VALENTINE'S DAY
02/08/2012
The most romantic 6-pack you can buy this Valentine's Day.
This one's different than the six pack in which you drowned your lonely sorrows last year. Containing six jaded yet romantic someecards and envelopes, the True Love Six Pack is perfect if you...
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VALENTINE'S DAY
02/07/2012
Another addictive batch of "Breaking Bad" Valentine's Day cards.
Update: Here are four more Breaking Bad Valentine's Day cards from Beth at Shimmering and White, and she was even cool enough to make the one above per our suggestion!Some people have trouble...
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CHRISTMAS SEASON
12/12/2011
5 unintentionally inappropriate Christmas cards from children.
1. Can't Weight 'Til ChristmasA lot of children make their parents handmade gifts for Christmas, but the only thing these brutally honest brats are offering is crushed self-esteem and...
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SMOOTH MOVES
05/16/2011
The Someecards iPhone app update could conceivably fix everything wrong with your life.
If you were annoyed by cards not automatically updating in the Someecards app, then prepare to be significantly less annoyed from now on! We've fixed the bug, and the app now updates every time...
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VALENTINE'S DAY
02/01/2011
SALE TODAY ONLY! Free shipping on all Valentine's Day cards and gifts on orders of $14 or more (use code GETSOME)
If you wait any longer to purchase Someecards Valentine's Day cards, you are guaranteed* to not have sex on Valentine's Day. Plus, you'll get free economy or standard shipping for orders...
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VALENTINE'S DAY
01/31/2011
The best and cheapest way to get Valentine's Day cards for all 45 people you're sleeping with.
Can flowers and chocolates truly convey the range of emotions you feel? Probably. But why not save a ton of money while simultaneously displaying your wit and originality! The Someecards...
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NEW YEAR'S
12/23/2010
These brand new someecards products will make 2011 one of the least awful years ever!
The new year is just around the corner and you've barely begun to somehow find the courage to look forward to it. Some brand new someecards New Year's products are just what the unlicensed...
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CHRISTMAS SEASON
12/22/2010
The 5 most adorably brutal or insane Christmas cards made by kids.
1) The Biggest Loser Card 2) Intervention Card 3) Sophie's Choice Card 4) Columbine Card 5) Crying Alone In the Bathtub CardLet us know in the comments about any other delightfully cruel or weird...
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CHRISTMAS SEASON
12/17/2010
The Someecards Office Holiday Party Collection!
If your office holiday party is coming up or you simply need to apologize for what you already did there, we're here to help. Use this collection to express all the fear, anger, harassment, and...
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Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Politics
The most romantic way to protest in support of gay marriage in North Carolina.
Lists
The most hilariously effective signs supporting gay marriage.
Comic Books
The 8 most unintentionally perverted superhero toys.
Graduation
A hilarious two-part yearbook quote that will warm your heart.
Signs
The economy summed up in one grocery store's depressing sign.
Graduation
How to infuriate an English major at their graduation ceremony.
Lists
More yearbook quotes and photos that don't bode well for our future.
Facebook
The 50 least valuable things ever posted on Facebook.
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TV
What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
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The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
Food
Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
Videos
Kids reenact Sabotage video in honor of MCA.
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Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
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If Taxi Driver had been a Disney movie.
Mother's Day
How to compensate your mom for the grossest thing she ever did for you.
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if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
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Probably one of the hardest things for Pinocchio to pull off was complimenting his friend's experimental theater piece.
Megan Amram
I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
Ari Scott
I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
Leah Beckmann
I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
Molly McNearney
How did we ever cross busy intersections before texting and walking?
Shari Vanderwerf
Oh yeah? Well I can lose weight, but you'll always be a dressing room mirror.
Clarke Kant
It's amazing to see the differences between twins. For example, my precious daughter has so much more self-confidence than my fat idiot son.
Wickedwordslinger
Deleting a substandard tweet is my version of a courtesy flush.
Will Phillips
Sure glad we can't smell things on the inside of our body.
Amber Eeeeeee
it's methamphetaMINE not methamphetaYOURS
Julian McCullough
Celebrity deaths are the "beach ball at a concert" of twitter.
Scott Gilmore
Let me repeat that. Bono made 1.5 billion dollars this morning. Then gave a speech at the G8 summit calling for more aid to Africa.
Josh Hara
Let's just say if I found out the Dalai Lama strangled a few squirrels to death I wouldn't be surprised.
Wickedwordslinger
The way things are going my best retirement plan is going to be death.
Rex Huppke
Torn between buying one-fifth of a share of Facebook stock, a gallon of gas or a Venti soy latte.
Jenny Johnson
I think it's super cute of Kim Kardashian to remind us why she's famous. http://t.co/RLgkCGQx
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News
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Advice
Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
News
How every man wants to die.
Weddings
10 hilariously disastrous weddings we wish we'd been invited to.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Headlines
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Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.
I just want you to know that Amish you.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
However old you are is the new 30.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
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