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MOTHER'S DAY
05/11/2012
The most depressing Mother's Day card in the history of the animal kingdom.
No one's actually buying this and sending it to somebody, right? So it's just catowners going into the store and buying themselves a card. They sign their cat's name onto it, seal it up,...
8 comments
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NEWS
02/03/2012
5 reasons to be glad this week is finally over.
5. A cancer foundation flip-flopped on how much they care about cancer. Fundraising giant Susan G. Komen For The Cure created a pink PR nightmare for themselves this week by announcing the...
4 comments
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HOLIDAY SEASON
12/27/2011
What you get sent at Christmastime when you've been single for way too long.
If you received this card this year, your friends want you to know they're officially done with trying to fix you up with anybody. If several people sent this card to you, it might be time to...
2 comments
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PETS
07/19/2011
How to spot a desperately lonely driver.
It's rare to see a cat lady who's so proud to be a cat lady. This woman lacks any form of human companionship and doesn't care who in the PetSmart parking lot knows it. It's...
10 comments
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FLIRTING
06/09/2011
Insane cat enthusiast posts world's scariest online dating profile video.
Most people go on eHarmony to find true love, but it's pretty clear that this woman has already found it. And while it's wonderful to see someone single-handedly tearing down all the negative...
156 comments
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ENCOURAGEMENT
05/31/2011
Billboard meant to help blind people possibly created by blind person.
The fact that this billboard for a seeing-eye dog service in Sydney, Australia, is a visual ad targeting the visually impaired is somehow not the dumbest thing about it. Hopefully it's the...
4 comments
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CRY FOR HELP
05/12/2011
Saddest apartment in the universe available for summer sublet on Craigslist.
If you have to be in DC this summer, $900 including utilities and Roombas isn't half-bad. If any of you were quick enough to jump on this before the ad got taken down, just do yourself a favor...
7 comments
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CRY FOR HELP
05/06/2011
Person giving away kittens on Craigslist has never heard of kittens.
Somebody please take these kittens away from this person. While there is a certain beauty to the simple statement "Dude cats got cat balls," it makes us worried to think someone like this...
19 comments
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Notes
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Notes
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The most romantic way to protest in support of gay marriage in North Carolina.
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The most hilariously effective signs supporting gay marriage.
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The 8 most unintentionally perverted superhero toys.
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The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
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if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
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I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
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Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
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I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
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I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
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How did we ever cross busy intersections before texting and walking?
Shari Vanderwerf
Oh yeah? Well I can lose weight, but you'll always be a dressing room mirror.
Clarke Kant
It's amazing to see the differences between twins. For example, my precious daughter has so much more self-confidence than my fat idiot son.
Wickedwordslinger
Deleting a substandard tweet is my version of a courtesy flush.
Will Phillips
Sure glad we can't smell things on the inside of our body.
Amber Eeeeeee
it's methamphetaMINE not methamphetaYOURS
Julian McCullough
Celebrity deaths are the "beach ball at a concert" of twitter.
Scott Gilmore
Let me repeat that. Bono made 1.5 billion dollars this morning. Then gave a speech at the G8 summit calling for more aid to Africa.
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