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THE KIDS
05/18/2012
Child's drawing for stationed soldier not taking dangers of war all that seriously.
Seriously dude, you living would be so totes amazeballs and I would so click Like on that. To the kid who sent this drawing in a care package for soldiers presently stationed in Afghanistan, maybe...
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TAKE KIDS TO WORK
04/26/2012
The 10 most inappropriate jobs to bring children to.
10. Powerline technician. "I know it's scary up here Samantha but don't worry, the electricity will kill you before the fall does." 9. Bunny Ranch prostitute. "Do you...
3 comments
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KIDS
03/13/2012
5-year-old uses crayon drawing to come to grips with his own mortality.
See, this kid gets it. Warren's not planning on playing it safe in life just to see Willard Scott project his face onto the side of a Smuckers jar in 100 years. He wants to live, damn it. And he...
3 comments
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LETTERS
03/08/2012
The most insane letter ever written by a child to a TV weatherman.
If Flint grows up to be a local TV weatherman, we are immediately packing our bags and moving to that city. Think this kid would settle for just putting a pair of Ray Bans on the sunshine graphic?...
106 comments
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DATING
01/11/2012
The saddest possible picture to receive when you're single and under the weather.
The student who drew this for her single teacher appears to be saying that as an adult woman, your choices are either to have a boyfriend or a jar full of pills (which we interpret to mean...
20 comments
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VIDEO GAMES
01/11/2012
How to tell when your gift to your nephew has turned him into a serial killer.
"I shoot people they die, and it makes me laugh." No that's not an excerpt from a letter to the San Francisco Chronicle written by the Zodiac killer. It's just an adorably...
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VIDEOS
10/04/2011
Humane Society now offering small white children.
The Humane Society should be ashamed of itself for this video. How dare they try to pass this sweet, innocent child off as some kind of unwanted dog without at least throwing a pair of fake ears on...
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REGRETTABLE ERRORS
10/03/2011
Book guarantees your baby will get bullied throughout the entirety of preschool.
This book is perfect if you're trying to raise the next Mark Zuckerberg, but it will also mean years of your lonely child manipulating HTML by night and getting swirlies by day. Remember, nerd...
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SYMPATHY
06/10/2011
How to destroy a child's love of baseball in less than five seconds.
Maybe it's time to update that old idiom "easy as taking candy from a baby" to "easy as tearing a baseball out of a child's tiny, helpless hands, then high-fiving your morally...
18 comments
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CONFESSION
06/10/2011
Child's attempt to describe dream is weirder than any dream you've ever had.
The only thing more bizarre than this kid's prolonged bout of nonsensical stammering is what he finally manages to say when he stops. If we just heard what we think we heard, he needs some sort...
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Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Politics
The most romantic way to protest in support of gay marriage in North Carolina.
Lists
The most hilariously effective signs supporting gay marriage.
Comic Books
The 8 most unintentionally perverted superhero toys.
Graduation
A hilarious two-part yearbook quote that will warm your heart.
Signs
The economy summed up in one grocery store's depressing sign.
Graduation
How to infuriate an English major at their graduation ceremony.
Lists
More yearbook quotes and photos that don't bode well for our future.
Facebook
The 50 least valuable things ever posted on Facebook.
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What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
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The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
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Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
Videos
Kids reenact Sabotage video in honor of MCA.
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Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
Videos
If Taxi Driver had been a Disney movie.
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How to compensate your mom for the grossest thing she ever did for you.
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if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
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Megan Amram
I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
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I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
Leah Beckmann
I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
Molly McNearney
How did we ever cross busy intersections before texting and walking?
Shari Vanderwerf
Oh yeah? Well I can lose weight, but you'll always be a dressing room mirror.
Clarke Kant
It's amazing to see the differences between twins. For example, my precious daughter has so much more self-confidence than my fat idiot son.
Wickedwordslinger
Deleting a substandard tweet is my version of a courtesy flush.
Will Phillips
Sure glad we can't smell things on the inside of our body.
Amber Eeeeeee
it's methamphetaMINE not methamphetaYOURS
Julian McCullough
Celebrity deaths are the "beach ball at a concert" of twitter.
Scott Gilmore
Let me repeat that. Bono made 1.5 billion dollars this morning. Then gave a speech at the G8 summit calling for more aid to Africa.
Josh Hara
Let's just say if I found out the Dalai Lama strangled a few squirrels to death I wouldn't be surprised.
Wickedwordslinger
The way things are going my best retirement plan is going to be death.
Rex Huppke
Torn between buying one-fifth of a share of Facebook stock, a gallon of gas or a Venti soy latte.
Jenny Johnson
I think it's super cute of Kim Kardashian to remind us why she's famous. http://t.co/RLgkCGQx
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News
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Advice
Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
News
How every man wants to die.
Weddings
10 hilariously disastrous weddings we wish we'd been invited to.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Headlines
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Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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