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WEDDINGS
05/08/2012
10 hilariously disastrous weddings we wish we'd been invited to.
She insisted on replacing "For richer for poorer" with "Till the keg is kicked" in her vows.If you're getting married this wedding season, don't get too stressed if a...
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THE DECEASED
04/26/2012
Dead man's hilarious obituary makes dying almost seem worth it.
Forget heaven. Eternal life can now be achieved simply by writing an obituary entertaining enough for it to go viral. So stop wasting time volunteering for charity or refusing to covet thy...
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VIDEOS
03/29/2012
The most impressive rendition of a Queen song ever delivered by a drunk guy in the back of a police car.
This man was arrested for public intoxication and didn't agree with the charges, so he opted to demonstrate his sobriety by slurring his way through the entirety of "Bohemian Rhapsody,"...
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SIGNS
03/19/2012
The only logical response to a marathon being scheduled the day after St. Patrick's Day.
While you were legally dead Sunday morning in a pile of green vomit and regrettable decisions, some weirdos actually woke up early to go outside and run. (We don't understand it either.) This...
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MAPS
01/13/2012
Plan your weekend with this map of the drunkest states in the U.S.
Based on a new report from the CDC, this map ranks each state based on its percentage of "binge drinkers," which those lab-coat wearing weenies define as "five or more drinks in a...
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FACEBOOK
01/13/2012
Comic strip announces fun new alternative to Facebook.
People have gotten so used to Facebook that it's easy to forget a time-honored alternative: lots and lots of alcohol. Still, there are a few important differences to keep in mind, like that...
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NOTES
12/30/2011
Hungover roommate leaves note threatening worst Christmas present ever.
I've you've ever heard the sounds of torn wrapping paper and childlike wonder amplified by the after-effects of a Christmas Eve vodka bender, you might understand where Brodie's coming...
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CHRISTMAS SEASON
12/13/2011
If office holiday party invitations were honest.
It's time once again to grudgingly assemble with your fellow cubicle drones to gorge yourselves on enough cocktail weenies, cocktail meatballs, and actual cocktails to temporarily delay the...
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THANKSGIVING
11/21/2011
A Thanksgiving seating chart for families as dysfunctional as yours.
It's a little depressing that so many of our families are hopelessly dysfunctional in the exact same way, but it's also kind of a relief to know we're all in this together. By the way, if...
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FLYERS
11/07/2011
Flyer for club that undoubtedly meets down by the river.
There's nothing like climbing out of a family-sized vehicle, tossing back a few dozen beers and getting so hammered that you forget how to properly write down a phone number. Of course, there are...
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Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Lists
The most hilariously effective signs supporting gay marriage.
Politics
The most romantic way to protest in support of gay marriage in North Carolina.
Comic Books
The 8 most unintentionally perverted superhero toys.
Graduation
A hilarious two-part yearbook quote that will warm your heart.
Signs
The economy summed up in one grocery store's depressing sign.
Graduation
How to infuriate an English major at their graduation ceremony.
Lists
More yearbook quotes and photos that don't bode well for our future.
Facebook
The 50 least valuable things ever posted on Facebook.
MORE POSTS »
TV
What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
The Gays
The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
Food
Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
Videos
Kids reenact Sabotage video in honor of MCA.
Videos
Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
Videos
If Taxi Driver had been a Disney movie.
Mother's Day
How to compensate your mom for the grossest thing she ever did for you.
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Michelle Wolf
if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
Rob Kutner
Probably one of the hardest things for Pinocchio to pull off was complimenting his friend's experimental theater piece.
Megan Amram
I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
Ari Scott
I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
Leah Beckmann
I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
Molly McNearney
How did we ever cross busy intersections before texting and walking?
Shari Vanderwerf
Oh yeah? Well I can lose weight, but you'll always be a dressing room mirror.
Clarke Kant
It's amazing to see the differences between twins. For example, my precious daughter has so much more self-confidence than my fat idiot son.
Wickedwordslinger
Deleting a substandard tweet is my version of a courtesy flush.
Will Phillips
Sure glad we can't smell things on the inside of our body.
Amber Eeeeeee
it's methamphetaMINE not methamphetaYOURS
Julian McCullough
Celebrity deaths are the "beach ball at a concert" of twitter.
Scott Gilmore
Let me repeat that. Bono made 1.5 billion dollars this morning. Then gave a speech at the G8 summit calling for more aid to Africa.
Josh Hara
Let's just say if I found out the Dalai Lama strangled a few squirrels to death I wouldn't be surprised.
Wickedwordslinger
The way things are going my best retirement plan is going to be death.
Rex Huppke
Torn between buying one-fifth of a share of Facebook stock, a gallon of gas or a Venti soy latte.
Jenny Johnson
I think it's super cute of Kim Kardashian to remind us why she's famous. http://t.co/RLgkCGQx
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News
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Advice
Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
News
How every man wants to die.
Weddings
10 hilariously disastrous weddings we wish we'd been invited to.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Headlines
How an attempt at the perfect prom photo can go horribly wrong.
Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I just want you to know that Amish you.
There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
However old you are is the new 30.
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