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SIGNS
05/19/2012
Restaurant delivers best possible response to bad internet review.
You win, restaurant. Now we have to try this thing. Ironically, this only works because the Yelp review is so hyperbolically negative. You wouldn't catch anyone posting a sign that reads...
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FOOD
05/16/2012
Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
Everything about this news story just screams "America," from the fact that an overweight man was dissatisfied with a monstrous portion of food, to his inalienable right to protest it, to...
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PRODUCTS
03/29/2012
A coffin that looks as delicious as the food that killed you.
No one likes talking about their own mortality, but with this bacon-wrapped death box, you'll be salivating over it, What better way to go to your final resting place than in a casket that...
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FOOD
03/29/2012
Guy living in Taco Bell parking lot has much better life than you.
You laugh, but how else is a guy supposed to pass the digestion time between lunch and dinner? Or between dinner and Fourth Meal? The only thing that's puzzling to us is how someone whose only...
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RELIGION
03/04/2012
More of the most absurd objects Jesus has ever appeared on.
GreasusApparently when Christians say "Jesus is everywhere," they mean "especially the stupidest places possible." These lesser-known Christ sightings from around the country...
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LISTS
02/17/2012
More of our favorite brutally honest cake inscriptions.
Cakes are the prerequisite celebration dessert for birthdays, graduations, weddings, and prison homecomings. But according to the inscriptions on these cakes, they're also handy for smoothing...
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VALENTINE'S DAY
02/14/2012
The manliest bouquet of roses ever created.
When you order this "Steak Bouquet" from Quality Standard Beef and Lamb in Gloucestershire, England, roses are most definitely red — or at least a little pink in the center. Unless...
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VALENTINE'S DAY
02/08/2012
Valentine's Day gift combines underwear and food in most disgusting way possible.
Too rushed this Valentine's Day to make time for dinner and romance? Brief Jerky brings them both together in a way that will make you never want to eat or have sex again. This site gives you the...
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CONTESTS
02/03/2012
WINNERS CHOSEN: Check out the top 5 smart-ass responses to a tweet from Guy Fieri!
It's time once again for the results of our #celebreply contest! This week's target was the Larry the Cable Guy of the kitchen, Guy Fieri. We got a lot of great responses this week, and our...
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SIGNS
02/01/2012
Make a date at the most exclusive fast-food place in town.
We're not sure how long this burrito place in Seattle has been taking dinner reservations, but we do know this couple is in for a very, very special evening. (It's two-for-one Chalupa night.)...
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Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Photoshop
How to use Photoshop to make it look like your drunk friend had the night of his life.
Notes
Overprotective mom and dad leave extremely different goodbye notes.
Cartoons
What your entire life looks like when you're too picky about who you date.
Signs
Bathroom sign imposes unbelievably bizarre restriction.
Happy Place Original
What a brutally honest college diploma looks like.
Signs
Restaurant delivers best possible response to bad internet review.
Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Sex
The most convincing sales pitch for condoms in the history of procreation.
Lists
Stephen Colbert named 69th most beautiful woman in the world.
MORE POSTS »
TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
The Gays
The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
TV
What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
Food
Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
Videos
Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
Videos
Kids reenact Sabotage video in honor of MCA.
Videos
If Taxi Driver had been a Disney movie.
Mother's Day
How to compensate your mom for the grossest thing she ever did for you.
MORE VIDEOS »
Ben Greenman
Facebook stock should have its own Timeline so it can look back on happier days, like last Friday.
Jenny Johnson
Most people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Republican or a Democrat.
Ken Jennings
Matthew Fox is like the Windows XP of Jon Hamm.
Nicole Betz
I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers.
kelly oxford
It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
h. jon benjamin
so far today, i read the ny times and googled 'hulk porn'
jon hendren
"i'm a passionate gamer" says incredible waste of human life
Michael Ian Black
Pretty sure most people aren't spending nearly enough time thinking about me.
IanWearsPants
I don't think I've ever initiated a conversation.
Matt Koff
LinkedIn is just one more way I've never connected with my dad.
MJ
I always make out with the entire restaurant staff before I eat anywhere, just so they know that spitting in my food won't be necessary.
Alex Blagg
I bet a chronological list of everything I've "liked" on the Internet would read like a short story about a man falling apart.
Michelle Wolf
if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
Rob Kutner
Probably one of the hardest things for Pinocchio to pull off was complimenting his friend's experimental theater piece.
Megan Amram
I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
Ari Scott
I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
Leah Beckmann
I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
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Headlines
One of the most creatively disgusting ways to get revenge on your boss.
News
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Advice
Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
News
How every man wants to die.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Headlines
How an attempt at the perfect prom photo can go horribly wrong.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
MORE “News” »
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
Sorry I can't make it to your party, dinner, or event because I want to watch previously recorded television.
No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Here's to the Yankees and Red Sox making their historic rivalry a battle for last place.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.
I work well with others when they leave me the fuck alone.
I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime.
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