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THE KIDS
05/18/2012
Child's drawing for stationed soldier not taking dangers of war all that seriously.
Seriously dude, you living would be so totes amazeballs and I would so click Like on that. To the kid who sent this drawing in a care package for soldiers presently stationed in Afghanistan, maybe...
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CHILD-REARING
04/03/2012
The most eloquently hostile tirade against an alarm clock ever written by a son to his mother.
Important tip for adult sons who still live at home: try not to mention how angry you are at alarm clocks, or other things associated with adult sons who no longer live at home because they can...
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LETTERS
03/08/2012
The most insane letter ever written by a child to a TV weatherman.
If Flint grows up to be a local TV weatherman, we are immediately packing our bags and moving to that city. Think this kid would settle for just putting a pair of Ray Bans on the sunshine graphic?...
106 comments
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WAR
01/31/2012
Little kid completely half-asses his letter to a soldier in combat.
On the inside he wrote, "If you meet Al Qaeda tell him hello or whatever. Um, freedom and shit." Seriously though, to all of our boys bravely serving overseas, here's hoping your war is...
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TV
09/24/2011
Steve Martin's letter offering advice about the Oscars more entertaining than the Oscars.
Here's an open letter from comedy legend and overly insistent banjo player Steve Martin to fellow comedy legend and occasional cartoon donkey Eddie Murphy, offering some helpful tips for hosting...
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VIDEOS
09/04/2011
Video explains why Tom Cruise hates it when his cousin visits.
Tom Cruise doesn't usually look this upset unless he's mentally preparing himself for sex with a woman. We don't know why he's being such a weepy stick in the mud though — we...
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NOTES
07/27/2011
Letter from life insurance company accidentally expresses templated sympathy.
When Reddit user theHawaiian received this letter from Sun Life after the untimely passing of his father, he was so touched by the show of sympathy that he put it on the Internet for all —...
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ADVICE
07/25/2011
Advice column demonstrates why men shouldn't write advice columns.
We'd like to start off by verbally giving the finger to anyone who points out that this gem is a few years old. We'd never seen it, probably because we've been having non-stop illicit sex...
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BREAKUP
06/06/2011
Middle school breakup letter harsher than most divorce depositions.
Sometimes, when you think you've met that special guy who's going to be with you all the way to the end of middle school, he ends up leaving you for "that ass and those tet...
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REMINDERS
04/06/2011
The perfect note to give anyone who doesn't pick up their dog's crap.
The writer of this adorably creepy gem sounds about one unscooped poop away from leaving a dog's head in their neighbor's bed. We encourage anyone who's ever painstakingly cleaned dog...
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Facebook stock should have its own Timeline so it can look back on happier days, like last Friday.
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I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers.
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It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
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so far today, i read the ny times and googled 'hulk porn'
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"i'm a passionate gamer" says incredible waste of human life
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Pretty sure most people aren't spending nearly enough time thinking about me.
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LinkedIn is just one more way I've never connected with my dad.
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I always make out with the entire restaurant staff before I eat anywhere, just so they know that spitting in my food won't be necessary.
Alex Blagg
I bet a chronological list of everything I've "liked" on the Internet would read like a short story about a man falling apart.
Michelle Wolf
if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
Rob Kutner
Probably one of the hardest things for Pinocchio to pull off was complimenting his friend's experimental theater piece.
Megan Amram
I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
Ari Scott
I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
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I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
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One of the most creatively disgusting ways to get revenge on your boss.
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Advice
Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
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5 people having a worse Monday than you.
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Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Sorry I can't make it to your party, dinner, or event because I want to watch previously recorded television.
Here's to the Yankees and Red Sox making their historic rivalry a battle for last place.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
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