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DATING
02/15/2012
Why you shouldn't break up with a crazy girl who has pictures of your tiny penis. (NSFW)
This video positions comedian Rachel Bloom as the new Adele, if Adele had a cell phone full of tiny dick pics. Though we don't see the revenge factor in posting a picture of his penis...
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MUSIC
02/13/2012
What it looks like when Grammy watchers can't identify the most famous rock star in history.
Fifty years ago these people would have been screaming their heads off over Sir Paul as if the first one to lose consciousness from hyperventilation got to have sex with him. Now "Who is Paul...
43 comments
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CONTESTS
01/27/2012
WINNERS CHOSEN: Check out our favorite smart-ass responses to a tweet from Nickelback!
It's time once again for the results of our #celebreply contest! This week's target was a band that has managed the impressive feat of becoming the most embarrassing thing from Canada,...
54 comments
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MUSIC
01/24/2012
What it would sound like if Bon Iver covered Bon Jovi.
If kickass, feather-haired 1986 and tuneful, bearded 2011 made love beside a roaring fire in a cabin somewhere in the woods, this short clip from Miracles Of Modern Science would be the baby. We...
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VIDEOS
01/18/2012
The greatest thing ever made involving Lionel Richie's "Hello."
We're pretty confident this is the best version of this song ever created, and not just because it's "performed" by some of our favorite movie characters, or because it doesn't...
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MUSIC
01/14/2012
Flowchart explains a few important rules for your next karaoke night.
This is perhaps the most valuable advice you can give someone who's planning to sing karaoke, aside from "don't do it." Obviously it's tempting to take on Queen's six-minute...
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MOVIES
01/10/2012
What a brutally honest James Bond theme song would sound like.
That must suck when even your own theme song hates you. Still, it makes a lot of good points. We don't care if Goldfinger is about to destroy the world, it doesn't give you an excuse to...
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MUSIC
01/02/2012
Motorist discovers the only remaining use for your old compact discs.
The disc reads "Objects in mirror are just as obsolete as they appear." It should also read, "Just get your mirror fixed, MacGyver. Watching out for colorful blurs on the back of a...
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MUSIC
12/21/2011
The emergency telephone hotline you had no idea you needed.
Callin' Oates, because when you call 911 and tell them you have a "Maneater emergency," they send the police out looking for cannibals when all you wanted was to groove to one of the...
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VIDEOS
12/15/2011
The most random, hilarious weather report ever given by an indie music legend.
Finally, a weather report that combines our love of experimental alt rock with our love of knowing how big of a coat we need today. We're not surprised by Jeff Tweedy's lack of meteorological...
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Older Posts
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“NEWS”
ECARDS
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Signs
More smart-ass responses to completely well-meaning signs.
Lists
More of the greatest inappropriate test answers from young children.
Children
Child's medical advice to teacher is more helpful than everything on WebMD.
Lists
More of the best smart-ass responses to celebrities on Twitter.
Relationships
Witness the most disastrous post-date texting conversation in history.
Workplace
10 more of the most enjoyably cantankerous notes ever posted in the workplace.
Education
The most convincing argument for increasing school funding contained in a single Facebook post.
Relationships
What it would look like if Gmail helped you make better dating decisions.
Dating
Unfortunate ad placement creates the most depressing promotion for online dating ever.
Election 2012
A Rick Santorum campaign poster composed entirely of gay porn. (NSFW)
MORE POSTS »
Dating
The most wonderfully honest online dating commercial ever made. (NSFW)
Dating
Why you shouldn't break up with a crazy girl who has pictures of your tiny penis. (NSFW)
Valentine's Day
At least your Valentine's Day wasn't as humiliating as this weatherman's.
TV News
Woman accidentally demonstrates the dangers of texting while walking during live TV broadcast.
College
The most hilariously terrifying video to ever make you enroll in technical school.
Election 2012
Obama continues to lock up reelection with surprise singing gigs.
Election 2012
You'll never guess what Rick Santorum's top campaign backer suggests women put between their knees.
Valentine's Day
How being desperately single on Valentine's Day can land you in prison.
MORE VIDEOS »
Rex Huppke
"I had my priest use the charred dust of a cayenne-infused duck confit." - Ash Wednesday foodie
Damien Fahey
"Don't steal, don't kill, put some stuff on your forehead, maybe sometimes don't eat meat? Look, I'm clearly running out of ideas here" -God
Neal Brennan
Lent is Catholic fraternity hazing.
Brandon Gardner
It's International "Surprise! I'm Catholic" Day
charles
"Hey, my eyes are down here." - Catholic woman on Ash Wednesday
molly
I just need closure = I want to make myself look insane to my ex.
Aaron Burdette
Humans: "I got new pants!" Animals: "Check out my genitals!"
Jenny Johnson
I'd say you're more of a mix between an Ewok and a hooker. RT @KimKardashian: I'm such a mix between Charlotte and Carrie!
Sam Grittner
Celebrating Black Friday History month by watching BET on my sweet new flatscreen.
Julius Sharpe
Guys, don't be nervous about getting married. 40% of it is just pretending to be excited about new storage containers.
Matt Kirshen
"Men are from Mars; Women are from Mars; I am from Mars" - A Martian.
Drew Bomhof
Does this include gastro-intestinal corruption RT @Carlsjr "The duty of youth is to challenge corruption." -Kurt Cobain 2/20/67-4/5/94 #rip
that Pluta kid
Kurt Cobain's ghost just killed itself. RT @CarlsJr "The duty of youth is to challenge corruption." - Kurt Cobain, 2/20/67-4/5/94 #rip
Jenny Johnson
Happy Pretend Your Co-Workers Don't Look Creepy When They Come Back From Lunch With Black Shit Smeared Across Their Foreheads Day!!!!
Indecision
Rick Santorum promises to fight porn. That statement sounds like the plot to the world's worst porn. http://t.co/pr0RejPu
Artie Johann
Sometimes, as a joke, I'll enroll online at the University of Phoenix and try to get good grades then graduate.
matt
"Ooh, I wonder if that's the email I've been waiting for?" - excited me two seconds before remembering that I emailed myself two seconds ago
Rex Huppke
IF YOU THINK A JOKE ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT FUNNY OR INAPPROPRIATE MAKE SURE YOU RESPOND BY SAYING "NOT FUNNY" SO IT GETS FIXED
Aaron Blitzstein
"All I know is he's up there with the door locked, ruining a LOT of socks." - Jim Henson's dad
IanWearsPants
I just got sad thinking about the women who willingly spend time with Jeremy Piven.
MORE TWEETS »
Election 2012
Santorum speech inadvertently leads to mind-blowingly sexual headline.
Headlines
A great new way to threaten friends who tag you in embarrassing Facebook photos.
Headlines
The most mind-boggling headline we've seen all millennium.
Headlines
Why you should be very careful of who you unfriend on Facebook.
Valentine's Day
How Valentine's Day role-playing got two people arrested.
News
5 reasons to be glad this week is finally over.
Celebrities
The weirdest possible headline connected to Whitney Houston's death.
Headlines
Man almost dies of least surprising heart attack in history.
News
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
News
5 reasons to be glad this week is finally over.
MORE “News” »
Just wanted to remind you I didn't give up sex for Lent.
You're the friend I'd feel the worst about killing in a post-apocalyptic death match for food.
I wish my coworkers would give up talking to me for Lent.
National Margarita Day is one of the few holidays I don't need to fake enthusiasm for.
Happy birthday to a white person born during Black History Month.
I'm giving up drinking for Lent and giving up Lent for St. Patrick's Day.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
I only celebrate tequila-based fake holidays.
I just want you to know that Amish you.
I wish I could select all of your clothes and press Delete.
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Un-Airconditioned Sex
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The New 30
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Blow Jobs Flowers
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Happy Hour
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Work Feels Overwhelming
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Dating Profile
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More Into Your Birthday
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Four Figures A Year
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140-Character-Or-Less
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