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MUSIC
01/24/2012
What it would sound like if Bon Iver covered Bon Jovi.
If kickass, feather-haired 1986 and tuneful, bearded 2011 made love beside a roaring fire in a cabin somewhere in the woods, this short clip from Miracles Of Modern Science would be the baby. We...
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VIDEOS
01/18/2012
The greatest thing ever made involving Lionel Richie's "Hello."
We're pretty confident this is the best version of this song ever created, and not just because it's "performed" by some of our favorite movie characters, or because it doesn't...
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MUSIC
01/14/2012
Flowchart explains a few important rules for your next karaoke night.
This is perhaps the most valuable advice you can give someone who's planning to sing karaoke, aside from "don't do it." Obviously it's tempting to take on Queen's six-minute...
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MOVIES
01/10/2012
What a brutally honest James Bond theme song would sound like.
That must suck when even your own theme song hates you. Still, it makes a lot of good points. We don't care if Goldfinger is about to destroy the world, it doesn't give you an excuse to...
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MUSIC
01/02/2012
Motorist discovers the only remaining use for your old compact discs.
The disc reads "Objects in mirror are just as obsolete as they appear." It should also read, "Just get your mirror fixed, MacGyver. Watching out for colorful blurs on the back of a...
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MUSIC
12/21/2011
The emergency telephone hotline you had no idea you needed.
Callin' Oates, because when you call 911 and tell them you have a "Maneater emergency," they send the police out looking for cannibals when all you wanted was to groove to one of the...
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VIDEOS
12/15/2011
The most random, hilarious weather report ever given by an indie music legend.
Finally, a weather report that combines our love of experimental alt rock with our love of knowing how big of a coat we need today. We're not surprised by Jeff Tweedy's lack of meteorological...
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CONTESTS
12/14/2011
WINNERS CHOSEN: Check out the top 5 smart-ass responses to a tweet from Chris Brown!
It's time once again for the results of our #celebreply contest! This week's target was Chris Brown, a guy who would just love it if we could all find it in our hearts to forget about the...
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CHRISTMAS SEASON
12/08/2011
A closer look at the 8 creepiest lyrics from popular Christmas songs.
1. This unsettling ode to holiday date rape is a relic of an era when "No" meant "Not if I'm conscious." 2. Congratulations on making Santa Claus sound like even more...
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MUSIC
12/07/2011
The 6 most plausible reactions from Fat Axl Rose to news of his Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction.
Big News for people who were in high school when the first Bush was president. Guns N' Roses have been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame, alongside the Red Hot Chili Peppers and...
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Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Notes
Overprotective mom and dad leave extremely different goodbye notes.
Photoshop
How to use Photoshop to make it look like your drunk friend had the night of his life.
Cartoons
What your entire life looks like when you're too picky about who you date.
Signs
Bathroom sign imposes unbelievably bizarre restriction.
Signs
Restaurant delivers best possible response to bad internet review.
Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Happy Place Original
What a brutally honest college diploma looks like.
Lists
Stephen Colbert named 69th most beautiful woman in the world.
Sex
The most convincing sales pitch for condoms in the history of procreation.
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TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
The Gays
The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
Food
Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
TV
What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
Videos
Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
Videos
Kids reenact Sabotage video in honor of MCA.
Videos
If Taxi Driver had been a Disney movie.
Mother's Day
How to compensate your mom for the grossest thing she ever did for you.
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Ben Greenman
Facebook stock should have its own Timeline so it can look back on happier days, like last Friday.
Jenny Johnson
Most people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Republican or a Democrat.
Ken Jennings
Matthew Fox is like the Windows XP of Jon Hamm.
Nicole Betz
I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers.
kelly oxford
It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
h. jon benjamin
so far today, i read the ny times and googled 'hulk porn'
jon hendren
"i'm a passionate gamer" says incredible waste of human life
Michael Ian Black
Pretty sure most people aren't spending nearly enough time thinking about me.
IanWearsPants
I don't think I've ever initiated a conversation.
Matt Koff
LinkedIn is just one more way I've never connected with my dad.
MJ
I always make out with the entire restaurant staff before I eat anywhere, just so they know that spitting in my food won't be necessary.
Alex Blagg
I bet a chronological list of everything I've "liked" on the Internet would read like a short story about a man falling apart.
Michelle Wolf
if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
Rob Kutner
Probably one of the hardest things for Pinocchio to pull off was complimenting his friend's experimental theater piece.
Megan Amram
I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
Ari Scott
I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
Leah Beckmann
I know I'm killing it if I'm having more of "hahaha" than a "haha" gchat kind of day.
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One of the most creatively disgusting ways to get revenge on your boss.
News
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
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Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
News
How every man wants to die.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Headlines
How an attempt at the perfect prom photo can go horribly wrong.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Sorry I can't make it to your party, dinner, or event because I want to watch previously recorded television.
Here's to the Yankees and Red Sox making their historic rivalry a battle for last place.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you.
I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime.
There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays.
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