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Shit Girls Say
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SH*T BLANKS SAY
01/26/2012
We're only slightly ashamed to admit we laughed at Sh*t Samuel L. Jackson Says.
Now that every ethnicity, religion, occupation, and sexual orientation has been cataloged by the national "Shit Carbon-Based Life Forms Say" Dialiectic Documentation Project, it's time...
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NEW YORK
01/19/2012
Sh*t New Yorkers Say.
The trend goes regional. And yes, we've said every single line in this video, and yes, we hate ourselves for it.
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VIRAL VIDEOS
01/11/2012
NEW AND ACTUALLY FUNNY: Sh*t Nobody Says.
We got sick of the Sh*t Girls Say spin-offs at around episode two of Sh*t Girls Say, but we swear this one's actually enjoyable. Hopefully with the release of this video the full spectrum of...
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THE FEMININE
12/19/2011
Learn even more about the fairer sex with the second episode of "Sh*t Girls Say."
Give another listen to the secret language of the ladies as they explore the world for hummus, hot dogs, and things that may or may not be raisins.
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THE FEMININE
12/15/2011
Sh*t Girls Say
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Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Summer
Craigslist ad offers great summer house opportunity for ugly people.
Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Photoshop
How to use Photoshop to make it look like your drunk friend had the night of his life.
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What your entire life looks like when you're too picky about who you date.
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Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
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The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
The Gays
The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
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Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
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What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
Videos
Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
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Ben Greenman
Facebook stock should have its own Timeline so it can look back on happier days, like last Friday.
Jenny Johnson
Most people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Republican or a Democrat.
Ken Jennings
Matthew Fox is like the Windows XP of Jon Hamm.
Nicole Betz
I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers.
kelly oxford
It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
h. jon benjamin
so far today, i read the ny times and googled 'hulk porn'
jon hendren
"i'm a passionate gamer" says incredible waste of human life
Michael Ian Black
Pretty sure most people aren't spending nearly enough time thinking about me.
IanWearsPants
I don't think I've ever initiated a conversation.
Matt Koff
LinkedIn is just one more way I've never connected with my dad.
MJ
I always make out with the entire restaurant staff before I eat anywhere, just so they know that spitting in my food won't be necessary.
Alex Blagg
I bet a chronological list of everything I've "liked" on the Internet would read like a short story about a man falling apart.
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One of the most creatively disgusting ways to get revenge on your boss.
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5 people having a worse Monday than you.
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Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
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How every man wants to die.
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How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Headlines
How an attempt at the perfect prom photo can go horribly wrong.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime.
I hope a 28-year-old billionaire becoming even richer this week doesn't spoil your birthday.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
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