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Singing
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KIDS
04/30/2012
A children's song about death that is infinitely scarier than death.
Right at the beginning, when we saw a child lip synching an adult voice, we were pretty sure we'd died and gone to hell. Sadly, that wasn't even the creepy part. What's with the...
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VIDEOS
03/29/2012
The most impressive rendition of a Queen song ever delivered by a drunk guy in the back of a police car.
This man was arrested for public intoxication and didn't agree with the charges, so he opted to demonstrate his sobriety by slurring his way through the entirety of "Bohemian Rhapsody,"...
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ELECTION 2012
02/22/2012
Obama continues to lock up reelection with surprise singing gigs.
It didn't make our thighs tingle the way the Al Green clip did (see below), but hey, the encore isn't supposed to be better than the show, people. If the White House is taking requests for...
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DINING
02/01/2012
The single greatest fast-food order ever placed at a drive-thru.
So that's how you make the girls at the drive-thru not despise you and life in general. This should get her through the next couple hours of her shift, at least until the next time she gets...
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MUSIC
01/14/2012
Flowchart explains a few important rules for your next karaoke night.
This is perhaps the most valuable advice you can give someone who's planning to sing karaoke, aside from "don't do it." Obviously it's tempting to take on Queen's six-minute...
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More disastrous and embarrassing cases of people forgetting to log out of Facebook.
Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Summer
Craigslist ad offers great summer house opportunity for ugly people.
Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Photoshop
How to use Photoshop to make it look like your drunk friend had the night of his life.
Cartoons
What your entire life looks like when you're too picky about who you date.
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TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
The Gays
The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
Food
Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
TV
What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
Videos
Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
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Artie Johann
If I were a bird, I'd be the one who shows up right as they finish the nest.
Ben Greenman
Facebook stock should have its own Timeline so it can look back on happier days, like last Friday.
Jenny Johnson
Most people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Republican or a Democrat.
Ken Jennings
Matthew Fox is like the Windows XP of Jon Hamm.
Nicole Betz
I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers.
kelly oxford
It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
h. jon benjamin
so far today, i read the ny times and googled 'hulk porn'
jon hendren
"i'm a passionate gamer" says incredible waste of human life
Michael Ian Black
Pretty sure most people aren't spending nearly enough time thinking about me.
IanWearsPants
I don't think I've ever initiated a conversation.
Matt Koff
LinkedIn is just one more way I've never connected with my dad.
MJ
I always make out with the entire restaurant staff before I eat anywhere, just so they know that spitting in my food won't be necessary.
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One of the most creatively disgusting ways to get revenge on your boss.
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5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Advice
Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
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How every man wants to die.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
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How an attempt at the perfect prom photo can go horribly wrong.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
I hope a 28-year-old billionaire becoming even richer this week doesn't spoil your birthday.
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