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PARENTING
05/09/2012
Parents devise brilliant way to punish their daughter for being an idiot on the Internet.
"But mommy, what about all those photos of glasses of white wine that you're constantly pinning on Pinterest?!" This is an ingenious form of discipline. Though we hope this idea stays...
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PRODUCTS
01/19/2012
Introducing a new bed that will keep you from ever leaving your bed.
FBed, this monstrous slab of furniture designed by Tomislav Zavonaric, brilliantly combines the inactivity of lying in bed with the inactivity of being on Facebook. Sure, the bed itself doesn't...
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FACEBOOK
01/13/2012
10 more examples of Facebook status updates posted at wildly inappropriate moments.
Sometimes "TMI" can stand for "Too Much Immediacy." It's not that we don't want to be informed that a friend is masturbating / on the toilet / performing brain surgery /...
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FACEBOOK
09/22/2011
What it would look like if Facebook was honest about its new changes.
Facebook redesigns are now as predictable as the outpouring of violent user rage that greets them. You'd think people would get used to them, but the threats of suicide and (worse) defection...
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COMIC STRIP
08/29/2011
The sad truth about what Facebook has done to your birthday.
Thanks to social networking, birthdays have become a pathetic display of human indifference — nothing but brief, obligatory "happy b-day!" wall posts half-heartedly tossed off to...
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GOOGLE PLUS
07/14/2011
21 Google Plus circles you can actually use.
We've been using Google Plus all week and we can already foresee wasting a huge portion of our lives on it until we're forcibly herded into the next social networking breakthrough. The one...
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CHARTS
03/16/2011
Infographic explains the purpose of every social media site using the metaphor of pee.
Feel free to let us know what you think of this even if you're currently peeing.
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CRY FOR HELP
10/27/2010
MySpace announces Hollywood movie won't be made about its logo change.
In a sad bid to stay remotely relevant but inadvertently becoming more confusing, social networking site MySpace will be rolling out a major redesign accompanied by a logo change to My_____. (Instead...
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More disastrous and embarrassing cases of people forgetting to log out of Facebook.
Notes
More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Summer
Craigslist ad offers great summer house opportunity for ugly people.
Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Photoshop
How to use Photoshop to make it look like your drunk friend had the night of his life.
Cartoons
What your entire life looks like when you're too picky about who you date.
Notes
Overprotective mom and dad leave extremely different goodbye notes.
Signs
Restaurant delivers best possible response to bad internet review.
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TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
The Gays
The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
Food
Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
TV
What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
Videos
Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
Videos
Kids reenact Sabotage video in honor of MCA.
Mother's Day
How to compensate your mom for the grossest thing she ever did for you.
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Artie Johann
If I were a bird, I'd be the one who shows up right as they finish the nest.
Ben Greenman
Facebook stock should have its own Timeline so it can look back on happier days, like last Friday.
Jenny Johnson
Most people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Republican or a Democrat.
Ken Jennings
Matthew Fox is like the Windows XP of Jon Hamm.
Nicole Betz
I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers.
kelly oxford
It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
h. jon benjamin
so far today, i read the ny times and googled 'hulk porn'
jon hendren
"i'm a passionate gamer" says incredible waste of human life
Michael Ian Black
Pretty sure most people aren't spending nearly enough time thinking about me.
IanWearsPants
I don't think I've ever initiated a conversation.
Matt Koff
LinkedIn is just one more way I've never connected with my dad.
MJ
I always make out with the entire restaurant staff before I eat anywhere, just so they know that spitting in my food won't be necessary.
Alex Blagg
I bet a chronological list of everything I've "liked" on the Internet would read like a short story about a man falling apart.
Michelle Wolf
if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
Rob Kutner
Probably one of the hardest things for Pinocchio to pull off was complimenting his friend's experimental theater piece.
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Headlines
One of the most creatively disgusting ways to get revenge on your boss.
News
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Advice
Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
News
How every man wants to die.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Headlines
How an attempt at the perfect prom photo can go horribly wrong.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
MORE “News” »
No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
I hope a 28-year-old billionaire becoming even richer this week doesn't spoil your birthday.
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