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SIGNS
04/03/2012
The angriest possible way to protect plants.
Take that, vile perpetrators of shrub larceny. This is the most worked up we've seen someone get over horticulural thievery since our days in the NYPD SVU (Seedling Victims Unit). Unfortunately,...
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SIGNS
02/16/2012
Book exchange posts hilariously judgmental warning sign.
The person who left this sign wants to make sure you understand that this is a serious, self-respecting book exchange, not a Hudson News in Terminal C where you can kill some time during a three-hour...
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SIGNS
01/16/2012
8 more of the world's most absurd warning signs and disclaimers.
Some people say Americans' love of suing the crap out of each other is a bad thing, but if it wasn't for that litigious spirit our warning signs and product disclaimers would be far less...
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WARNINGS
12/01/2011
Bizarre warning sign gives us way more questions than answers.
The utter lack of backstory on this sign makes it pretty counter-productive, considering all we can think about now is finding this kid and giving him every pencil we own, maybe even buying him some...
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Craigslist ad offers great summer house opportunity for ugly people.
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Anderson Cooper kicks horrifying plastic surgery addict off show for being "dreadful."
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The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
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Artie Johann
If I were a bird, I'd be the one who shows up right as they finish the nest.
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Facebook stock should have its own Timeline so it can look back on happier days, like last Friday.
Jenny Johnson
Most people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Republican or a Democrat.
Ken Jennings
Matthew Fox is like the Windows XP of Jon Hamm.
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I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers.
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It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
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No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
My favorite thing about summer is having a valid excuse for my excessive sweating.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime.
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