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WEDDINGS
27 minutes ago
A new way to dress as reprehensibly as possible on your wedding day.
Are you worried that your wedding isn't obnoxious enough? Concerned that carrying a silver parasol and riding down the aisle atop a bedazzled pony won't make everyone attending your ceremony...
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WEDDINGS
05/08/2012
10 hilariously disastrous weddings we wish we'd been invited to.
She insisted on replacing "For richer for poorer" with "Till the keg is kicked" in her vows.If you're getting married this wedding season, don't get too stressed if a...
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WEDDINGS
04/12/2012
A wedding invitation that finally offers accurate RSVP options.
We wish our friends and their insufferable spouses-to-be were considerate enough to give us options this thorough. In fact, most of them could go ahead and delete the first two, and maybe even add a...
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WEDDINGS
03/28/2012
What all wedding announcements would look like if middle-school kids ran the world.
Yes! This is the greatest union since Jeff Haywood married Lisa Jablowmey! Kellen Butts knows it too, based on the giant smile in that picture. Here's hoping they end up being one of those...
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MARRIAGE
02/09/2012
Pizza Hut to help make sure your marriage is only the second biggest mistake of your life.
Pizza Hut is trying to get into the Horrible Idea business by giving people the chance to deliver a marriage proposal with a side of ranch dressing. The $10,010 Big Dinner Box Proposal includes a red...
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THE INTERNET
02/01/2012
Chart making fun of Pinterest hilarious to anyone who understands Pinterest.
This leaves out the .0001% slice representing "Dudes who briefly browse Pinterest to find out what the hell their girlfriends are constantly talking about before closing their browsers,...
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SIGNS
01/30/2012
Why you should never pick out a wedding venue while stoned.
We have no idea who would think a greasy fast food place is an appropriate setting for their nuptials, unless this means Harold and Kumar have finally dropped the act and made it official. We hear...
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CELEBRITIES
12/27/2011
Famous singer exactly four times worse at marriage than Kim Kardashian.
The singer went on to explain that she found something that compares to Barry Herridge. Specifically, not being married to Barry Herridge compared quite favorably. Looks like this marriage had a...
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VIDEOS
11/28/2011
Watch a first kiss between virgins that will make you never want to have sex again.
This is a clip from an upcoming reality show on TLC about adults who've never had sex, called Virgin Diaries. And that clinking you hear is the sound of every abstinent teenager in America...
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CHRISTMAS SEASON
11/26/2011
The 5 most insane Black Friday headlines you'll see until next Black Friday.
Somewhere along the way, Black Friday went from biggest shopping day of the year to biggest "pulverize a senior citizen for a discount on some chintzy piece of crap you'd never buy at full...
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More of the most awkward, entertaining, or horrifying notes ever written by a roommate.
Summer
Craigslist ad offers great summer house opportunity for ugly people.
Notes
More of the most entertaining, obnoxious, or completely insane notes written to neighbors.
Weddings
A new way to dress as reprehensibly as possible on your wedding day.
Photoshop
How to use Photoshop to make it look like your drunk friend had the night of his life.
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Restaurant delivers best possible response to bad internet review.
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What your entire life looks like when you're too picky about who you date.
Lists
Stephen Colbert named 69th most beautiful woman in the world.
Notes
Overprotective mom and dad leave extremely different goodbye notes.
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Anderson Cooper kicks horrifying plastic surgery addict off show for being "dreadful."
TV News
Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
TV News
The most awkward conceivable way to declare you need a tan.
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The single-most deranged anti-gay rant ever read calmly into a microphone.
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Real-life Homer Simpson protests all-you-can-eat restaurant for cutting him off.
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What it would look like if every Sunday night show you watch was combined into one.
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Heartfelt music video about Facebook more embarrassing than your friends' status updates.
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Kids reenact Sabotage video in honor of MCA.
Mother's Day
How to compensate your mom for the grossest thing she ever did for you.
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Artie Johann
If I were a bird, I'd be the one who shows up right as they finish the nest.
Ben Greenman
Facebook stock should have its own Timeline so it can look back on happier days, like last Friday.
Jenny Johnson
Most people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Republican or a Democrat.
Ken Jennings
Matthew Fox is like the Windows XP of Jon Hamm.
Nicole Betz
I stay up at night worrying about what happens to the unquestioned Jeopardy answers.
kelly oxford
It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
h. jon benjamin
so far today, i read the ny times and googled 'hulk porn'
jon hendren
"i'm a passionate gamer" says incredible waste of human life
Michael Ian Black
Pretty sure most people aren't spending nearly enough time thinking about me.
IanWearsPants
I don't think I've ever initiated a conversation.
Matt Koff
LinkedIn is just one more way I've never connected with my dad.
MJ
I always make out with the entire restaurant staff before I eat anywhere, just so they know that spitting in my food won't be necessary.
Alex Blagg
I bet a chronological list of everything I've "liked" on the Internet would read like a short story about a man falling apart.
Michelle Wolf
if i ever want to get back at someone i'm dating, i just wipe back to front
donni
There must be a few vegetarians who just enjoy murdering vegetables.
Rob Kutner
Probably one of the hardest things for Pinocchio to pull off was complimenting his friend's experimental theater piece.
Megan Amram
I got out of jury duty by being the defendant
Gary Janetti
Never getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me it's okay to emotionally torture someone.
Ari Scott
I hope God is almost done putting people on this earth to sing.
Jim Gaffigan
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn't even be nominated.
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One of the most creatively disgusting ways to get revenge on your boss.
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5 people having a worse Monday than you.
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Advice column receives letter from worst man you could possibly sleep with.
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How every man wants to die.
Headlines
How not to treat a 79-year-old world-renowned actor.
Mondays
5 people having a worse Monday than you.
Headlines
How an attempt at the perfect prom photo can go horribly wrong.
Headlines
Headline about gay marriage succeeds in being as blatantly sexual as possible.
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No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
My favorite thing about summer is having a valid excuse for my excessive sweating.
I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime.
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