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MOTHER'S DAY
05/08/2012
Liquor store is honest about what your mom needs on Mother's Day.
By that logic, you should also buy her Kleenex because "you're the reason she cries." And you should get her some new office supplies because "you being unable to support yourself...
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LISTS
03/30/2012
More of the greatest inappropriate test answers from young children.
Maybe these kids will look back on this and laugh once they're old enough to realize what the hell they were saying. Some of them seem brutally honest, while others just appear to have a tenuous...
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LABELS
07/06/2011
When alcoholic beverages start resembling the women who drink them.
These beverage companies have each decided to give up on subtlety and just name their products after their respective demographics. We greatly anticipate their upcoming line of scotch, Rich White...
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REMINDERS
02/04/2011
Why the Starbucks Trenta is perfect for homeless winos.
A man with a little too much free time (below) recently discover that the new 31-ounce Starbucks Trenta cup can hold an entire bottle of wine with about five ounces to spare. Which makes perfect...
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Reporter's skirt adjustment nearly turns news clip into porn clip.
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Most people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Republican or a Democrat.
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Matthew Fox is like the Windows XP of Jon Hamm.
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It's Morrissey's birthday today; spend a minute thinking about how crazy it is that he never killed himself.
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No amount of tanning will ever change how hopelessly white you are.
Just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now.
If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
My favorite thing about summer is having a valid excuse for my excessive sweating.
Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I heard you go down even faster than Facebook stock.
Have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.
I can't wait to start blaming my normal lack of productivity on it being summertime.
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