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Susan G 03/08/2012

You want me to explain why I'm leaving before I unsubscribe from your mailing list? Well, you're too needy, for one thing.
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Susan G 01/13/2012

Honesty is the best policy, except when it comes to answering the question, "How are you?"
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Susan G 09/13/2011

Some days it feels less like work and more like rape.
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Susan G 07/29/2011

Casual Friday is a great way to confirm your suspicions on who all the sluts are at work.
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Polythene Spam 05/26/2011

Working with toddlers is like being the only sober one at a cocktail party.
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Polythene Spam 05/20/2011

Anyone who thought Lars Von Trier seriously called himself a Nazi is not familiar with the Germanic sense of humour, and its non-existence.
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Polythene Spam 02/17/2011

"Just going on the computer to check one thing" - me five years ago
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Polythene Spam 02/16/2011

Show me a computer that can win Jeopardy using only Bing. Then I'll be impressed.
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Polythene Spam 12/15/2010

Every time a kitten masturbates, God puts it on YouTube.
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Polythene Spam 11/30/2010

I'm not superstitious at all, but it's proven that saying "I haven't been sick once this year" makes Satan jizz cold germs down your throat.
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Polythene Spam 10/22/2010

If you use the term "elephant in the room" in front of a fat person, you create an elephant in the room.
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