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IanWearsPants yesterday

I don't think I've ever initiated a conversation.
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IanWearsPants 03/08/2012

Willem Dafoe's penis must be terrifying.
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IanWearsPants 02/21/2012

I just got sad thinking about the women who willingly spend time with Jeremy Piven.
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IanWearsPants 02/03/2012

Don't worry ladies, if I'm able to make eye contact with you and speak clearly it only means I find you extraordinarily unattractive.
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IanWearsPants 01/10/2012

"He died doing what he loved, judging strangers on the internet."
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IanWearsPants 01/06/2012

Sometimes I pretend my hoodie sleeves are elephant trunks. My vote counts just as much as yours.
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IanWearsPants 12/13/2011

Your mom used to tweek her nips while watching Falcon Crest.
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IanWearsPants 11/17/2011

All I want out of life is to see a hawk with a big floppy horse dick.
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IanWearsPants 10/19/2011

I would be the safety school of boyfriends.
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IanWearsPants 10/06/2011

It was pretty presumptuous of me to buy more then one plate.
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IanWearsPants 09/19/2011

I have the Steve Buscemi's teeth of abs.
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IanWearsPants 09/08/2011

The only thing that George Lucas has done that I like is going back to ruin the childhoods of Star Wars fans.
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IanWearsPants 08/29/2011

How does one become Grand Wizard of the KKK? Do you need to be, like, super racist?
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IanWearsPants 08/12/2011

Dolphins will never know the pleasure of taking a nap on a couch. Stupid dolphins.
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