Funny tweets on Happy Place. The funniest tweets from Twitter.

Tweet Picks More Tweets »

sort-by: Newest | Most Popular

Kasey Anderson 05/10/2012

If Barack Obama really wants to get re-elected he should just pretend to be a television show that's getting canceled.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 01/06/2012

I would go to Don Knott's Berry Farm. I would go there every day.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 12/09/2011

There are two kinds of people in this world and I can't relate to either one of them.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 12/06/2011

Finally getting the hang of this "wake up every morning and do basically the same thing with different complaints until you die" thing.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 11/29/2011

Your Herman Cain jokes are more embarrassing than Herman Cain's presidential campaign.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 09/27/2011

Spent the last 20 minutes trying to find out if my friend who shares a birthday with Meat Loaf also shares a birthday with meatloaf. I'm 31.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 09/14/2011

Love that movie where the white couple has everything but still finds obstacles to overcome.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 09/13/2011

I'm the type of person who would find having super powers to be a real hassle.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 09/07/2011

I don't necessarily hope I die before I get "old," but I do hope I die before I start making loud sigh noises while using a public restroom.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 08/31/2011

Hey Zuckerberg, it's moot now but all you had to say was, "You can watch your exes gain weight and marry losers," and we'd have been in.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 08/25/2011

"Needs more fucking." - Every note given on every episode of every HBO show over the last three years
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 08/22/2011

I won't believe Libya is free until Kenneth Cole has somehow used the uprising in a disgusting, hamfisted attempt to sell more shitty shoes.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 08/01/2011

MTV is 30, meaning MTV is now too old to appear on any MTV reality show.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 07/05/2011

"The Glass is half empty!" - Weird, old Philip Glass, mid-orgasm
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 07/01/2011

I never feel more vulnerable than when waiting to see who will emerge from the airplane bathroom I'm next in line to use.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 06/30/2011

I mean, Yogi Bear was a drunk, right?
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 06/20/2011

Some folks talkin' white wine chicken marinade in this coffee shop! Things is heatin' up!
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 06/16/2011

If love means never having to say you're sorry, then I love everyone.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 06/14/2011

Just let an old woman cut in front of me in line at the grocery store. Who do you think will play me in the film adaptation of my life?
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 06/07/2011

The hardest part of dating is pretending you like hiking.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 06/02/2011

I don't have a personal mission statement, but the phrase "What day is it?" sure does crop up a lot in my life.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 05/31/2011

Realized I left my apt. unlocked last night. Scary to think someone could have just walked in and found me awake, watching Wings at 4:30am.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 05/23/2011

Woman in front of me just ordered a cinnamon bagel. I'm gonna tell her about donuts and blow her fucking mind apart.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 05/17/2011

All of your tweets look like a toddler spilled those poetry magnets on the floor. RT: @50cent It da kid 50 what's up
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email
Kasey Anderson 05/13/2011

Just texted an ex to let her know I ran into her sister, who "has really become a lovely young woman." No part of my brain works correctly.
- Discuss
- Post
- Twitter
- Follow
- Email

DON'T MISS THIS

Featured Content

NEWSLETTER

Get Happy Place delivered to your inbox!

LET'S BE FRIENDS

PARTNER SITES

© Copyright 2012 someecards, Inc.