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Guy Nicolucci 03/22/2012

John Edwards hired prostitutes? This is actually the least sleazy thing I've heard about him in years.
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Guy Nicolucci 12/07/2011

Alec Baldwin is the only guy who could make me root for an airline.
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Guy Nicolucci 11/29/2011

"I'll have a Blue Meth Christmas without you" #breakingbadxmas
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Guy Nicolucci 10/20/2011

#GadhafisLastWords "Siri, how do I get a bullet out of my aorta?"
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Guy Nicolucci 10/05/2011

CNN: "Apple visionary Steve Jobs dies". Fox News: "America loses Jobs under Obama"
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Guy Nicolucci 08/25/2011

I won't believe Gadhafi is truly out of power until Fox News hires him as a talking head.
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Guy Nicolucci 06/15/2011

@pattonoswalt The Sweet Smell of Wilfred Brimley #geriatricnoir
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Guy Nicolucci 06/07/2011

Why would I pay $4.95 a month to watch Glenn Beck; I can get the same rant by giving a quarter to the guy who lives behind the Fatburger
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Guy Nicolucci 05/27/2011

Amy Winehouse is back in rehab. She's either really, really serious about this, or she used up all the cocaine in the world.
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Guy Nicolucci 05/24/2011

Bob Dylan is 70. Good for him. He doesn't look a day over a million.
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Guy Nicolucci 04/26/2011

Katie Couric: I am leaving CBS Evening News. Viewers: We beat you to that a long time ago.
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Guy Nicolucci 04/06/2011

Does a government shutdown affect Netflix?
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Guy Nicolucci 04/01/2011

Sbarro's is filing for bankruptcy. Guess it must have been their slogan, "Even Worse than Olive Garden."
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Guy Nicolucci 03/28/2011

Time did not list me as one of the best Twitter feeds. I'm not bitter, but tell me, which of Time's grandkids told it about Twitter?
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Guy Nicolucci 01/24/2011

Jack LaLanne is dead. And he's still healthier than you.
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Guy Nicolucci 01/16/2011

DeNiro is doing Rupert Pupkin's standup act #goldenglobe
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Guy Nicolucci 01/03/2011

Pee Coat #navyporn
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Guy Nicolucci 12/24/2010

#Spiderman musical gets through 1 performance without a major disaster or injury. Audience demands money back
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Guy Nicolucci 12/17/2010

"I brought a date to 'Tron'." #BiggestLieEver
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Guy Nicolucci 12/15/2010

The Editors of Time magazine pick Mark Zuckerberg as Man of the Year.... because their grandkids told them he was cool.
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Guy Nicolucci 11/29/2010

James Franco may host the Oscars. Which is perfect since the show lasts 127 Hours.
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Guy Nicolucci 11/11/2010

Gwyneth Paltrow sang at the Country Music Awards. America's whitest music just got 17 percent whiter. #CMAs
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Guy Nicolucci 11/04/2010

President Obama invites John Boehner to White House. Fox News reports: Muslim lures Christian hero to terrorist lair.
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Guy Nicolucci 11/03/2010

Christine O'Donnell finally has more free time to not masturbate. #christineodonnell #election
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Guy Nicolucci 10/19/2010

Mark Twain is on the best-seller list 100 years after death. Your move, Larry King. #kingsthings
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