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Rex Huppke 05/18/2012

Torn between buying one-fifth of a share of Facebook stock, a gallon of gas or a Venti soy latte.
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Rex Huppke 05/08/2012

Fortunately "Travolta masseur" was already on my list of Worst Jobs Ever, so today's news doesn't really change anything.
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Rex Huppke 05/07/2012

If I managed my social life as meticulously as I manage my Netflix queue I wouldn't need a Netflix queue.
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Rex Huppke 04/23/2012

Why have we not made a pie filled with cake that can be wrapped around meat? #ObamasFault
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Rex Huppke 04/13/2012

Instead of a ring, Brad Pitt just slid a small Malaysian orphan on to Angelina Jolie's finger.
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Rex Huppke 04/12/2012

When you enter a Whole Foods you have 1 minute 23 seconds before someone starts talking to you about gluten. Carry a stopwatch.
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Rex Huppke 04/10/2012

Mark Zuckerburg just bought all my Rick Santorum jokes for $1 billion.
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Rex Huppke 04/04/2012

I'm walking around wearing the new Google glasses but I keep running into porn.
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Rex Huppke 04/02/2012

I always keep a blowtorch at my desk this time of year just in case the Peeps finally rise up against us.
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Rex Huppke 03/19/2012

In Hell, everyone has an animated Twitter avatar.
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Rex Huppke 03/16/2012

Well, Jason Russell, if masturbating in public is the new form of activism, you can count me in!
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Rex Huppke 03/13/2012

Why hasn't anyone made a viral video about the brutal savagery of people who shorten tweets so they can re-tweet them?
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Rex Huppke 03/05/2012

Ann Romney said, "I don't even consider myself wealthy." She then had a servant put his foot in his mouth on her behalf.
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Rex Huppke 03/05/2012

If salads were people they'd be the kind who "don't even own a TV."
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Rex Huppke 02/27/2012

Congratulations, Pinterest. You have digitized America's compulsive hoarding problem.
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Rex Huppke 02/23/2012

Green tea is a gateway to emoting on Tumblr.
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Rex Huppke 02/23/2012

This week feels like a never-ending table read for the screenplay of a Rob Schneider movie.
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Rex Huppke 02/22/2012

"I had my priest use the charred dust of a cayenne-infused duck confit." - Ash Wednesday foodie
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Rex Huppke 02/21/2012

IF YOU THINK A JOKE ON SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT FUNNY OR INAPPROPRIATE MAKE SURE YOU RESPOND BY SAYING "NOT FUNNY" SO IT GETS FIXED
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Rex Huppke 02/15/2012

The endorsement of Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine assures Rick Santorum the coveted "unshorn, living in mom's garage" vote.
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Rex Huppke 02/08/2012

Hey, people who name things. Good job on "waiting room." Really spot on.
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Rex Huppke 02/06/2012

I'm surprised by the violence in Syria. I really thought the World Peace sign at the end of Madonna's halftime show would work.
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Rex Huppke 01/19/2012

BREAKING: Rick Perry announces he will drop out of presidential race, vows to "try it again next year."
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Rex Huppke 01/18/2012

Arrr, mateys, we be hatin' thar anti-piracy thingy more than scurvy. Arrrrrr. (I don't really understand what's going on.)
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Rex Huppke 12/08/2011

The excitement I feel when I see ham is becoming troubling.
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