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Josh Donoghue 02/09/2012

The worst part of this threesome was finding out one of them didn't follow me on Twitter.
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Josh Donoghue 12/16/2011

Coldplay sounds like what my wife and I do before not having sex.
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Josh Donoghue 12/13/2011

Hoping to get so drunk at my office holiday party that they forget how drunk I was last year.
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Josh Donoghue 11/29/2011

If I ever have sex with Salma Hayek, and want to last for at least a minute, we'll have to do it at an actual baseball game.
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Josh Donoghue 10/07/2011

If my boss was any more of a pussy he'd have to get a Vassar tattoo on his vagina.
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Josh Donoghue 10/07/2011

Just recalculated my carbon footprint and it looks like my seal clubbing trip is a go!
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Josh Donoghue 07/11/2011

Swaggered into work today with that sexy glow silently announcing to all my coworkers that yeah ... last night I got some pizza.
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Josh Donoghue 07/01/2011

I'm just a regular guy, folks, I put my condoms on one penis at a time.
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Josh Donoghue 06/16/2011

You know what's never happened ever?Dear Penthouse Forum,It all started when I put on some Nickelback ...
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Josh Donoghue 06/15/2011

My wish for all of PETA is that they'd take one bite of my baby seal sandwich 'cuz this shit is life changing.
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Josh Donoghue 06/03/2011

Turns out my face is not a look I can pull off.
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Josh Donoghue 06/01/2011

To last longer on romantic evenings I always premasturbate about an hour before I masturbate.
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Josh Donoghue 05/09/2011

Five second rule is just for floors, right? Can I get some advice on the donut-toilet count?
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Josh Donoghue 04/15/2011

It's so nice to hear kind words about my daughter from total strangers. Especially when they bought her sight unseen off the internet.
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Josh Donoghue 03/23/2011

Heaven newlyweds Burton and Taylor just filed for Heaven divorce.
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Josh Donoghue 02/10/2011

AARPenis #seniorporntitles
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Josh Donoghue 02/10/2011

Humpback Mountain #seniorporntitles
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Josh Donoghue 01/07/2011

Sign of the times:WILL WORK FOR VOICE LESSONS
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Josh Donoghue 12/23/2010

Just told my young daughter that she's my favorite and I think it meant more to her that the older fat one was there to hear it.
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Josh Donoghue 12/14/2010

There is nothing more suggestive than a lady eating a banana in public while blowing me.
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Josh Donoghue 11/25/2010

I need a $100 app that constantly reminds me to frivolously spend money.
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Josh Donoghue 11/03/2010

You can tell a lot about a person who tells you everything.
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Josh Donoghue 10/21/2010

Bob Guccione's last request was to be buried underneath my dad's mattress.
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